Monday, March 05, 2007

Trouble for Dubble Bubble

"The Poser" ACEO can be bid on here.

Welcome back, dear reader. Today we're going to talk about choices.
Some people, without question, make very poor choices in life. Some of these things, for example, would be to run a red light. To not wash one's hands after using a public bathroom. To place a small pet in a handbag. To lick a metal object in cold weather. Or, my favorite, to eat raisins.
These are all poor choices (unless the raisins are coated in chocolate or mixed with peanuts and Honey Nut Cheerios).

Then there are odd choices. These types of choices would include such things as pairing plaid with argyle (acceptable only if you're a bagpiper). Purchasing a leather sofa when living in a hot climate. Listening to any Jessica Simpson album from start to finish. Not putting melted cheese or cheese curds and gravy on french fries. Purchasing a goldfish as a pet.
These are all odd choices.

Poor choices and odd choices are made by everyone at some point, and it's something that usually happens more than once. We're human and it's one of those things that makes us just so darn quirky. The difference between the two being that a poor choice can have tragic consequences whereas an odd choice is just, well...baffling.
So what happens when a criminal (a poor career choice by any standards) makes an odd choice? Well, it would seem that stealing money, cars, jewellery, identities and the like was just too boring for one woman in Southern Ontario. Perhaps she thought those things were too typical and decided that a fresh approach to theivery was needed. What better way to do this than by stealing chewing gum?
The "Bubble Gum Bandit", as she's been dubbed, has already stolen $5000 worth of chewing gum from various large retail grocery stores in the Southern Ontario area. The police have determined that she does this by going into the store with a shopping cart, filling it with cases of chewing gum and then places flyers over top of the cases and walks out of the store with no one the wiser to her evil little Bubblicious ploy.

First of all $5000 buys a lot of gum...even in Canadian dollars. Secondly, the police say they know how she does this and yet they still haven't caught her. Thirdly, is there no one in these stores that thought it a might bit funny that there was a woman walking out with a grocery cart full of flyers? My guess is that somewhere along this line of crack detective work someone has made a poor choice since this woman is still at large, and hoarding away massive stashes of Bazooka Joe, no doubt.

One can only hope that this wayward thief will ultimately make an error and be caught or that she'll turn herself in before she chews all that gum and massive dental work is required. Even with that she'd probably steal a root canal, some bridge work and new veneers before anyone figured it out.

That, dear reader, concludes our news broadcast.

1 comment:

Kristina said...

Well Rita, I must say that your concern for the "Gum Bandit" is commendable. No wishes bad teeth on anyone.
secondly, I agree that life is all about choices. We are truly free to make any choice we wish, it is the consequences that limit us. What we do or accomplish is all about what consequence we can live with. For some, an evening spent working is too much, if it means missing the hockey game...
Keep on trucking! Your art is definately worth pursuing!