Thursday, December 18, 2008

I'll pass on the brussel sprouts.

"After van Gogh "Gauguin's Chair" " ACEO
Coloured pencil on Mi-Teintes
Copyright Rita Woodburne

What is it about the Holiday season that brings out the best, worst and most odd in people?

Let me explain.

I think the best of a good number of people comes out this time of year because 1- they’ve managed to live through another year and 2- they’re just jovial with the idea of being able to eat lots of food with butter and not think about the consequences until January 1st of the following year. And by calling it “the following year” it just sounds soooo far away.

The worst of people comes out when looking for a parking spot at the mall at 1:00 in the afternoon on a Saturday. Don’t even get me started on this one because stopping your vehicle and actually taking time out of your life to yell at someone, and possibly causing a heart attack for yourself or the other person, is just pointless to me... and downright stupid even if I do say so myself. And I do. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

After Vermeer- "Woman Holding a Balance" Part 1
Coloured pencil on Mi-Teintes

Then there’s the most odd.

The other day I went grocery shopping (why is it that so many of my mind boggling experiences happen while grocery shopping) and of course I was subject to the obligatory pre-Christmas crowding. Okay, I can take that and because I’m feeling jovial about eating butter- filled cookies I can even take the child in the other aisle that’s screaming like a banshee and the mother that’s doing nothing about it. It’s the Holidays... maybe Mom ate too many butter- filled cookies and simply doesn’t have the energy to deal with the little ankle-biter.

Anyhoo, after getting the things I needed and going through the check-out I was happy I had lived through another year of grocery shopping. I made my way to the truck and on the way I passed a grumpy elderly couple who were bickering over the proper way to pack the trunk with groceries. ‘I hope the Other Half and I don’t end up like that.’ I thought to myself and popped open the trunk.
Just as I was finishing unloading the groceries from the cart into the trunk and after listening to Happy Hannah and Chipper Chuck I heard this:

Chipper Chuck: “Did you remember to buy the brussel sprouts with butter?”
Happy Hannah: “No.”
Chipper Chuck: “Well, why not?”
Happy Hannah (quite a bit louder and bordering on yelling): “Because they give you gas!”

Good thing I wasn’t drinking anything because at that point it would have come out my nose... and all over my neatly packed trunk of groceries.

Apparently tis’ the season of love, brotherhood towards fellow man and brutal honesty.
Speaking of brutal honesty be sure to stay tuned, dear reader, because tomorrow I do my end of year review. I hope you’ll stop by again and see if I did well or did myself in... only tomorrow will tell!


Jennifer Rose said...

Brussel sprouts give some people really bad gas, but since neither me or hubby eat them its all right. I haven't made cookies for Xmas this year, but we are going to try to make a gingerbread house, which will probably turn out more like a gingerbread shack :p

"I can even take the child in the other aisle that’s screaming like a banshee and the mother that’s doing nothing about it."

Don't care what time of year it is, if a kid is screaming and the parent is not even trying to make the kid stop, I say something. Wouldn't be the first time I have been called names :p

Rita said...

Mmmm, who doesn't love a good gingerbread shack?

Normally screaming children and oblivious parents are an issue for me but this time of year it seems like every store I go into has at least one screaming child, I just don't have the time to give all of them dirty looks. ;)

Jennifer Rose said...

lol I will probably just smash the shack up to eat :p little pieces of iced gingerbread :)

yeah every store does have a screaming kid this time of year, but I do find it funny when the parent is screaming and the kids are the calm ones, looking really embarrassed :p