Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Revelations

Your chance to yell orders at me and crack the whip
as I create an ACEO just for you can be bid on here.

"The Look (Bill)" ACEO- SOLD- Copyright Rita Woodburne


As an artist, I’m afforded a lot of “alone” time. As I sit and doodle away in my studio I’m also afforded a great deal of time to think about things. Some things are serious, such as how to take better care of our earth and how to improve myself as an individual. On the flip side some things are trivial or nonsensical, such as what type of potato accompaniment I should serve with dinner tonight or what time of day would be most entertaining to give Bill, my demented cat, a whole whack of catnip. I call these extended periods of thought my ‘Revelations from the Drawing Board’. I will now share a select group of my ponderings with you, dear reader:

- You will run out of _____ (pick essential colour of choice) just before completing a commission that is due that day.

- The dog and/ or cat will throw up on the carpet just before company comes over...and it will stink to high Heaven.

- You will have one frequently used art tool that is small and will constantly get misplaced. You will put it in a specific place and say to yourself ‘I’ll put it here so I can remember where it is.’ and the next time you need to use it you’ll forget where that specific place is.

- (this is more for me) I will stick my foot in mouth at least once a day...I have yet to let myself down on this one which is good because I do so love reliability. :)

- You will pick a specific day of the week to get the ever increasing number of outdoor chores done and when that day comes it will rain all day.

- You will indulge yourself by eating some type of high-calorie, fatty, decadent food. You will then forget to wash your hands and proceed to touch a part of your artwork that needed to remain light but now never will because it’s stained by cooking grease.

- At some point you will step in dog doody when wearing sandals or flip-flops, no matter how carefully you scour the ground to avoid it. I call these unexpected deposits ‘land- mines’.

-Eraser shavings, although unsightly, make excellent traction control on a smooth floor. This is especially true when you’re wearing those comfy, but very slippery, chenille socks.

The final one I will share occurred to me just the other day as I was taking a break from a commission I was working on. I paused and took a gander out the window at the folks out enjoying the warm, sunny weather. It was in this instance that it hit me:

- Men, no matter how good their physical conditioning, should never ever wear shiny spandex bike shorts.


I thank you for letting me share with you some of my Revelations from the Drawing Board.

2 comments:

Meg said...

Heheheheh.. ahhhhh...

You should share more Revelations. Those were hilarious!

Rita said...

Thanks Meg, I try my best to impart a little bit of wisdom on someone each day. Even if it is my own bizarre brand of wisdom.

There's going to be more revelations in the future, I can feel it!